March 20, 2011

It's the little things in life...

Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~ Gandhiji

I would first like to say how unbelievably blessed my life has been, I could have never dreamed of the happiness I have experienced, with that being said I have also had a alot of fear, heartaches, grief, anxiety & depression all resulting from bad situations growing up... we'll just say I had to go thru alot more than any child should and that I never really got to be a child. You would think that one person can only take so much and sometimes I won't lie it feels that way, I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, I think its both hereditary and situational. I won't lie sometimes I just get so lost in worry, I worry  alot  WAY too much. I worry about my child the most, she is the literal light of my life, God could not have made her more perfect in my eyes, I have sinned (just as everyone has) but I know that I am a good person and I still have no idea of how I ever deserved her...all I know is I won't ever stop noticing how absolutely wonderful amazingly beautiful, loving and sweet and smart she is. Words really can't describe how I feel for her...alot of the time I just watch her playing and I find myself tearing up, I honestly don't think she will ever know how much I love her, I know that she will know that I love her more than anything and she is the most important person to me.

I had a rough traumatically horrid experience when I had my c-section, it scared my husband much so that he is just now considering whether or not he wanted me to go thru all that again just to have another child. I would go thru that over and over again if it meant I had bella in the end. I would LOVE to have another child, so that bella (and if I have another child) can have eachother to love and grow up with, to share everything with, she loves other children so much I KNOW that she will be a wonderful big sister... but with that being said if I only have bella, my heart is already complete...nothing is missing, it would just mean if we did have another sweet baby that our family and hearts would just grow bigger ;)

So my sweet bella are just a few of the things I have noticed about you ;)
( at 21 months of age)
You look like your daddy... you are me  made over...the way you act the looks you give and everything
Spaghetti is your favorite food & you hate eggs 
Your whole face lights up when you have my laugh when I was your age 
you can count to seven but you only say 2, 5, 6 & 7 you want me to say the rest..the same with the first half of your abc's
you say thank you after everything that anybody does for you or gives you (most of the time, lol) especially when i give you kisses
I say " hey boo" every morning when you wake up and even though you are not a morning person just like your mommy;) you always smile and say "hey" back.
sometimes you laugh and talk in your sleep
you love spongebob, & yo gabba gabba
you are so much smarter than I sometimes realize, you understand EVERYTHING I say and tell you!
You love dogs and kitties and playing outside!
You have never let me put bows on you, even when you were a baby you would pull them off
you said your first word at 4 months : dadda
you took your first steps at 10 months
you hated your first bath but have loved them ever since

my sweet girl I could go on about you for days, I will always love and support you and I already know you will exceed all of my hopes and dreams for you! I'll always be your biggest fan and supporter- momma<3


February 01, 2011

living our love song...

My name is Rebecca and I met my husband derrick when I was 15 and he was 17 back in the year 2003, we had drama class together. Derrick was kinda of shy and I...well, I had just recently gotten out of a bad relationship. We were friends at first, we were picked for the same play, where I was his mother in the play hahaha, so each day behind the curtains we would flirt and he would tease me about my pants with no back pockets (it was the style then, lol) Derrick actually tried to set me up with one of his friends, I guess he thought we would like eachother, and I just didn't have those feelings for him, it wasn't until soon after that I realized that I began to like derrick alot, and he liked me too, I just didn't know it ;) So one day we're just talking and he interrupts me dead in the middle of my sentence and says "do you mind if I ask for your number?" Needless to say I was caught off guard, but I smiled and said yes....after I gave him my number I just had to stick my foot in my mouth...I asked him "so what are you?" asking what nationality he was lmao, he looked at me very strange and said that he was white...then there was a long pause and he said I get in the tanning bed a lot.. he has black hair and dark brown eyes...all dark features, I wasn't blind in my assumption!  This is just one of the stories I can't wait to tell bella about her daddy and I when we were young! So as time went on of course we fell in love, and like most young couples we broke up a few times, but we always remained best friends even through the break ups...that's rare! There are so many sweet things that derrick has done for me over the years to show me how much he has always loved me...

   here's just a few of my favorites...

After the first time we broke up, I was dating someone else that valentines day and derrick sent me 9 red roses and 1 yellow rose to School with a card that said " 9 red roses for the 9 months of love, 1 yellow rose for the friendship that will always be" aww !

The other time that we broke up, he went around to everyone he worked with and made a video for me, interviewing them all, asking them why we should be together, it had all his friends and was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen, he had the video along with a dozen roses sent to my work!

When I graduated high school he sent me mixed wild flowers *my favorite* and on the card it read " Well the world didn't made it, I am so proud of you, I love you so much- derrick (the world ending was an inside joke between the 2 of us about what would happen before each major event in my life...turning 16, driving, turning 18, graduating etc.

Well its been almost 8 years (march 27th) since derrick and I first started dating and it has been one long, beauiful, crazy, sweet, annoying, awesome, funny, amazing ride. We will be married for 4 years on June 1st of this year, and as if that weren't enough, God blessed us with the most beautiful, smart, sweet, funny, loving little girl in the world...our little Isabella brook, who will be 2 on June 18th. It's hard to believe 2 young teens that fell in love so long ago, went through all these ups and downs, made it to where we are today, We are truly blessed!

What's up with this blog name??

Yes I named my blog after a Taylor Swift song 1. because I love her music & she is awesome 2. Because everyday of my life is a's not always perfect but almost all fairytales aren't, they just have happy endings, which I know God has in store for me ;)

I hope you all have a wonderful week, but I am fixing to go to bed, I currently have viral bronchitis and a sinus infection... I can however guarantee many random and interesting blogs from here out, hope you enjoy! God Bless you all!